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Myths and legends of Bali, part one

  1. "Where is the seeeeeeaaaaa here? !!!"

We have met such people a lot. When burly ladies clutch at us and fervently pray for help: “Are you Russian ?? Save us! Tell me, where is the sea ?! How far should I go there? !!! ”And here we are forced to tear down their already unstable inner world and explain that there is NO SEA. There is an ocean, and you have to stomp there for at least 40 minutes, but even if you reach, you still cannot swim because of the huge waves. And if you want to swim, it's half an hour by taxi ...

  1. "Eat, Pray, Love"

Girls arrive in a vanilla-romantic mood and breathe with the expectation that Bali is densely populated by brutal alpha princes with offers of a hand, heart and white horse. And in every shaggy surfer they try to see THE ONE. And they are quite surprised when the prince, after a couple of cocktails, calls to the villa (well, show the white horse), and after this villa doesn’t ring.

  1. “Bali is the same as Pattaya! It’s dirty, noisy and everywhere they peddle massage. ”

That`s what say the people who live in Kuta, where travel agencies send  in packs packaged  tourists (this is a terrible area occupied by chronically drunk Australian proletariat,  in the evenings  it mutates into a branch of Sodom and Gomorrah),  and never leave Kuta. After a couple of weeks in this cesspool  they categorically declare: “Bali is shit! There is nothing to do here! ”

  1. “I don’t ride a moped, I don’t speak English, I don’t want to surf, I don’t do yoga, I don’t like the heat and have never been abroad, but I want to come to Bali for a month!”

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